This is a story about love. It concerns Bob, the son of Robert the builder, living in the small village of Tinyville. It concerns Bob…and a girl. 

Bob wants to court the girl. Bob has a small four-wall house that he has built, and a hammer, given to him by his father. Bob is dreaming that Hope will agree to come live with him in his four-wall house.

And so he merrily walks along the village’s main street, looking for Hope. On his way, the village baker tells him that Hope wants to have a lot of children and this will require a large room for them to sleep in. 

“Thanks Mr. Baker!”

So Bob is now breaking the first wall of his house with his hammer, building a bigger room for all the children. Good job, Bob.

Having built the room, Bob happily walks along the village’s main street, looking for Hope, when he meets Hunter, the village’s…umm…fisherman. And Hunter tells him that Hope always wanted to open a shop inside her house.

“Good to know, Hunter!”

So of course, Bob is now breaking the second wall, to build a large room to turn into a shop when Hope moves in with him. Way to go Bob, you rascal.

Now, Bob is walking down the village’s main street, excitedly, looking for Hope, when he meets Tim, his bestest friend in all the world. And Tim tells him that Hope always wanted to have an indoor swimming pool.

“That’s amazing, Tim!”

Thus, we see Bob breaking the third wall, to build an indoor swimming pool. Incredible.

Content and a little anxious, Bob is now walking down the village’s less crowded second street and he reaches the fair maiden’s house.

“Fair maiden” 

He says. 

“You are the fairest creature in all the land, and I have built for you a house with enough room for many children, a shop, and an indoor swimming pool.” 

He adds, hoping to impress. Little does he know, that all his efforts have been in vain, because Hope already has a b

“Wait, what?”

 I was saying, Hope already has a boyfr

“You can’t be serious.”

“Oh, how dare you say I am not serious” says the fair maiden.

“You’re kidding me right?”

Umm, the maiden says “I am not kidding you and since you are insulting me I will now walk away.”

“You motherf

Bob’s phrase was cut off, because we do not allow this kind of fucking language in this tale.

Bob looks kind of pissed.

He is taking out his hammer and walking towards us. He…

He is now breaking the fourth wall.

Shit.